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Singles! Stop Waiting and Live: 7 Self Reflection Questions

I recently had the honor of being a guest speaker at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship during their Break the Fast event for singles. I was very excited and humbled by the fact that Rev. Young, the Couples and Singles pastor, extended the invitation. As soon as he extended the invitation months prior, I began praying about what I should share. I knew I didn’t want to share a message that might be expected, like “What to Do While Waiting on a Mate”, “Things to Do in Preparation for a Mate”, and any message that would convey that being single is not as great as being married. Or that would make single be seen as JV (junior varsity) and marriage as Varsity. Well, sorry folks…they are BOTH varsity.

It seems that singles are waiting to live until they are married. I have heard people say that they are  doing certain things UNTIL the guy finds her or he finds her, such as I am going to serve well until. Like serving the Lord with an end date is the sure fire way to get married. Or I have even said things like I’m going to wait until a person changes, or wait until fear is gone. Well, the person may never change and fear may always be there. Also as a virgin…YES you correctly read that, as a virgin, in the past I would say that “I am waiting until I get married” Well after reading a blog that really spoke to me, I now say “I am abstaining because I love the Lord.” I have also heard people say that they are NOT going to do certain things until they are married. Like, travel, own a home, go to the movies, and more. Or will say "I have a desire to have kids" How about if you don't have kids, you can serve others now. Your nieces, nephews, Godchildren, the church nursery, be a mentor and more?

I’ve heard so many single people say that “I’m in a holding pattern”, I’m in a holding cell” , "I’m waiting". When I think of waiting, I think about the waiting room.

I think of the hospital waiting room, where I can’t really move forward until I know the prognosis of my loved one, or if I am in the waiting area at the car dealership where I can’t really go anywhere until my car is repaired. If you are waiting to learn the decision of a job interview, you can’t make plans to move or stay until you find out if you got the job. Well Singles, you can live well NOW. Stop Waiting and Live NOW. You are complete now! You are enough now! Now, when I say Live, I mean serve the Lord Well!

Here are 7 Question to ask self as we stop waiting and Live for God. (Supporting scriptures and additional questions are included with each question)

  1. How often are you still?

  • Psalms 46:10- He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

  • 1 Cor 15: 57-58 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.

  • The previous scripture says to move but be still. Being Still doesn’t mean you are stagnant.

  • Do you take time to just be? Do you take time to take a break?

2. How often are you obedient?

  • Isaiah 1:19- If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land.

  • Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life says, God treasures our simple acts of obedience, more than our prayers, praise, and offerings.

  • Pastor Bryan Carter once said- God is not interested in our opinion, He is interested in our obedience.

3. How often are you honest with God, self, others?

  • Proverbs 28:18 - Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall.

    • Rick Warren also wrote, God allowed Abraham to question and challenge him over the destruction of Sodom, Job was allowed to vent his bitterness during his ordeal and in the end God defended Job for being honest?

    • Do you need to forgive someone?

    • Take it to Him, take it to wise counsel?

4. Where is your focus?

  • Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

  • Are you focused on what you don’t have or focused on what you do have?

  • Are you focused on what you want or are you focused on who God is, His grace, His Will His sovereign nature?

  • What is your idol this week?

5. How often do you attempt to do life alone?

  • Ecc 4:9-10 - 9 Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. 10 If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it's just too bad, because there is no one to help him. 

  • Who can you give permission to hold you accountable and pull you up?

6. Where do you find your joy?/Do you trust God?

  • Rom 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

  • Psalm 33:20-22 MSG -  We're depending on God; he's everything we need. What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got — that's what we're depending on.”

    • Have you ever prayed for something, got it and then at some point complained about it?

    • Things can’t give us joy, they can make us happy but happiness is based on happenstance, situations.

    • If God said "No", would you still trust Him?

7. How often do you just give thanks?

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:18 - Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

  • Are you thankful for the small "Yes"?

  • Take 30 seconds to write for what you are thankful.

  • Do you thank God and others.

8. BONUS QUESTION How are you serving God with your gifts?

  • Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

  • Eph 6:7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people.

  • If we take the focus on self we can focus on the needs of others?

  • Who are you pulling up?

  • Serve well.

© Dr. Kristen Guillory and, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dr. Kristen Guillory and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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