As many know, I love being a mentor.
Recently I was invited to train a group of coaches/mentors. Instead of spending most of the time giving tips, I shared mistakes I've made as a mentor. I've definitely learned and am still learning.
Here are my 3 biggest mistakes. And trust me there are more than 3. (I'll share successes and Tips, soon).
MISTAKE 1. I said YES to every person who wanted me to mentor him/her. Confession: At one time I was (trying) to mentor over 50 people at one time...And I don't mean group mentoring. That is WAY too many!
- I now have boundaries, have an interview process, and have a certain number under which I (try to) stay
MISTAKE 2. I thought I had to solve all of their problems. I thought I had all of the answers. I had to be everything for everyone all of the time. With this, I made myself into an idol.
Someone once shared with me that a friend told her "Girl, your friends don't need Jesus, because they have you"
Although she was sharing this as her story, that applied to me as well.
-Doing my best to make sure I keep myself off of the pedestal
MISTAKE 3. Prior to 2014, my mentees never saw me rest. And I mean NEVER! And as a result, I saw a few of them get sick.
Why did they get sick?
Because they saw me going and going, never resting and I'm sure thought "Well if Dr. G is doing this much, I am suppose to be as well." What they didn't do was factor in that they had some other life things going on that I didn't, the didn't factor in rest and didn't factor in that we all have different capacities. Some of us can only work on one project at a time (I don't mean multitask).
Also about 2 years ago, my brother in law said "You don't really know how to rest" I said "I'm getting better"
He said "Weeeell, every time you come to hang out, you're always leaving to go to an engagement"
And in that moment, I thought "Aw nah! I don't want that to be the impression and memory I leave my nephews." - I now rest. I really do (shoot! I woke from a good nap a few hrs ago)
I wonder if any of you can relate. If you are a mentor, parent and more, please be mindful of these things.
Also, what mistakes have you made??
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